Tend to obsess over your health? Then don’t read Merck’s Manual of Medical Information. Pick it up and you will quickly fall down the rabbit hole of the index, where you can find every malady you’ve had, might have and will have over your lifetime. It’s a miracle our bodies function at all, really.
Archive for May, 2008
Want to help figure out the colors for the next batch of kidney tees? Please help decide! Perhaps you’ve always hated the colors, but liked the shirt, so here is your chance to weigh in. Obviously the shirt was yellow because of pee, but not everyone loves yellow, and the gents don’t seem very fond of it. First image is the original yellow-and-blue design, second is a bright blue tee with a kind of cracked-out late 80s color palette and last is a more subdued dark green with yellow kidneys. I tried to install a poll to make this easy, but wordpress is being a real biznatch and not letting me install one, so if you’d be so kind as to comment, that would be great. Here’s what the poll would have looked like:
+ Yellow. Why change in mid-stream?
+ Blue. Urine, er, you’re on the right track.
+ Forest. I dig the yellow kidneys, they’re pee-tastic.
If you’ve ever wanted to know exactly how a hangover works, grab a couple-weeks-old issue of the New Yorker and school yourself on this age-old problem following a night of good cheer. “The liver, in processing alcohol, first addresses itself to ethanol, which is the alcohol proper, and then moves on to methanol, a secondary ingredient of many wines and spirits,” explains sober reporter Joan Acocella — are you still with me? “Because methanol breaks down into formic acid, which is highly toxic, it is during this second stage that the hangover is most crushing.” Crushing indeed. Our favorite item from this story is the perfect colloquialism for the hangover, from the Danes: “carpenters in the forehead.”
I’ve never known what alien guts look like, and now I do. Peep this boss Blobpus DX filled with vinyl guts, sold over at Super 7, one of those snooty vinyl shoppes in San Francisco, where grown men buy toys. It does glow in the dark and all, but would you buy this thing for $120? If you can crack it open and perform mini-surgery on it, maybe.
Sometimes I obsessively hunt for guts online, just to see what’s out there in a serendipitous kinda way, and my latest internet tangent was rewarded with Adorn Jewelry‘s gorgeous handmade plush guts. They’re so much cooler and more beautiful than our guts, it’s not even funny. These kidneys are my favorite, I love the colors, love that they are attached, and love that they come with adrenal gland hats!
Maybe I was too engrossed with reruns of Beverly Hills 90210 or something, but somehow I missed watching the pre-reality kiddie sporting TV show Guts in the early 1990s. No fear, Nickelodeon is resurrecting the show as My Family’s Got Guts, which pits family against family in an orgy of sport. “Guts will bring out the kid in all of us,” the series’ producer claims, “as we challenge families to live out their greatest sports fantasy.” As long as that fantasy includes those Tron-esque clothes, I’m on board for regrettable 90s nostalgia.
The miraculous six-way kidney transplant in Maryland reminds me of the Onion Network News story, where an anonymous philanthropist donates 200 kidneys by tossing a hefty bag of guts into the foyer of the hospital. I just heard yesterday that one of the six-way recipients got an I Heart Guts kidney as a gift. Happy to have been there!