Our plush uterus has returned, and just in time for Mother’s Day! We have had so many requests for our recalled uterus (people who had friends undergoing hysterectomy, lousy periods, miscarriages, etc.) that we put the uterus back up on the site for sale to adults only. We figure kids want an iTouch or a cell phone or whatever, not a plush uterus, for pete’s sake. Think of her as a sex toy. If you wish a uterus of your very own, you will have to check a box that says you understand the plush failed a child toy safety test, you’re over 18 years of age, etc. She’s got a fun new tag that warns of her ovarian hazards, so just in case she passes ownership (of course we hop you’ll want to keep your uterus forever), they’ll know all about her “issues.” And of course we are selling her for the new low price of$14, marked down from $18. Sorry, kids, no wombs for you until we make one that can withstand your destructive ways. We should have a revised, child-safe uterus sometime in 2010. Until then, please don’t gobble those ovaries down and kids, please — keep your hands off the uterus!
The Bitch is BackApril 23, 2009